Oh S*** When Did I Get a Toddler?

This is my monster. Layla Nicole. I am not sure what happened, but I turned around one day, and realized she was a toddler. In fact, she will be two in October. I can still remember the days of immobility (pure heaven) and lack of speech. Now I watch her run in circles, climb up the kitchen drawers to reach cookies, and talk my ear off about how her Rockin Talkin Elmo pooped.

I have been warned that toddlers are a handful, but man. It’s become a success when I crawl into my bed each night without pen drawings up my arms, or some mystery meal on my shirt. This isn’t without saying that I love and adore my monster. We have great fun getting into trouble together, playing games (“Hiya is her current favorite, where any inanimate becomes a sword and mommy becomes a dragon she must kill, while yelling “HIYYYAAAH” repeatedly), and making yummy snacks.

The Monster, enjoying watermelon on the porch :)

But this was a stage in our lives no one really prepared me for. I had gone through diaper blow outs, projectile vomiting and so much more during infancy, that when I was bombarded with toddlerhood, I realized that infancy was that “lull before the storm.”

Everything from eating to napping has now become a fight, as Monster gains her independence. Her new sense of past, present and future has caused a never ending story time. One minute she is a puppy, the next she is crying over a stubbed toe that happened two days ago. Keeping up with these stories has become quite the task. Being a stay at home mom, I have learned to entertain to her fancies, and I will end up entertaining myself as well.

Luckily, with this new found love of story telling, we also have a gaining ability of speech. Well, I say luckily with a grain of salt. With her speech, she imitates everyone and everything around her. From puppies barking from a nearby backyard, to….mommy cussing out the terrible driver ahead of her. Getting out of Wal Mart without one “F” bomb being dropped is now our goal each grocery trip we take. This is the unlucky side of speech. The lucky part is I can now understand what she is begging for, or where she got a boo boo.

All of these things I have learned, and we are just now getting into the year of the toddler. I am nervous to see what other “tricks” Monster learns along the way, and my biggest concern is a drama queen toddler meeting a new born Caroline come January 1st, but we’ll hit that fan like a bag of shit, totally unexpected, and even more so unprepared.


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